Māori Warrior 

SO, the great make bread at home mountain has been climbed. The Journey said she wanted to make the bread. Why not, it’s been a while and I have not baked since I wanted to make my own shiner bock beer bread. Back in the baby Pie days.

It’s all about getting the starter started. So the Shauna, Pie and myself setup different starter recipes to see who would make it to the finish line. Journey, chose the yeast starter.

The one thing that I remember her saying is that she really wanted to make the cuts into the bread. Ah yes, scoring. The intricate artisanal cuts into the dough that make cool designs. Well, she never got that far. Her starter turned into an abortion. I think she may have committed a crime of sorts.

It probably would have been the first to the oven if we were paying more attention to her choice of an accelerated timeline.

Shauna and I skipped the addition of yeast and cultivated our own science experiment over an extended period of time … continuously refreshing the starter with new water and flour. I was finally getting somewhere, when I had the unfortunate shattering of a bowl.

So I started again.

No worries, I was getting this process down to feed the starter. However, I was not going to be the first to the finish line. Shauna was the first to the oven, but failed when she really kneaded to rise to the occasion. Puns, yes I used them. Fully taking responsible for a kick in the junk.

We ended up with a loaf that could be consumed or used for a blanket party. Wrap that biscuit up in a towel and deliver some motivation.

Well, if you are not first, you’re last. And although I was last to the oven, I could be the best. With one out of the running and the other limping to the finish, I could stand with great glory holding my loaf of bread to the heavens, scored like a Maori Warrior and relish in final victory.

Well, I guess it’s impossible be a winner if we are all incredible losers. I don’t even eat bread, WTF am I doing.